Conversations

It’s just one of those times that you feel that everything you write is not what you want to write. I want to scream and shout to the world about the one great conversation had today with Mi, I want to tell everyone I know about how I did nothing more than to complain, whine and gossip. I want to share with all those I know that though I didn’t win anything, though it didn’t really lead anywhere or solve anything, it filled me with so much joy and contentment. I want to smile stupidly because I think that though no great things were done, I can get through the rest of the day basking in the sunlight of one talk.

I have always believed that being at peace with yourself is the greatest thing in world. I’m neither clever not clicky, nor confident or charming and the maximum I wish at most times is t be content. Was all that possible in the course of 17 minutes? yes, all that and more. How do you put into worlds the immense satisfaction you feel when you say exactly what you want to say and it’s received exactly how it’s supposed to be. How do you articulate that feeling that you can crib, cry or criticize with someone who knows exactly what you are trying to say. That perfect understanding which shelters you and saves you from judgment. No conflicts resolved, no angst repaired, no doubts removed, no depression lifted but still I feel like I’m on the top on the world.  I still am and will be there for some time to come.

Bits and Pieces

Of late, the bug of re-reading has really hit me hard. From books I have re-read over a period of time like says The last of Dusk or The Clear Light of Day to ones I have read only once like Midnight’s Children and Lunatic in my Head, I am rediscovering the joy of books I have once read and its simply fabulous to do it again. The forgotten phrases, those hazy plots and the crazy characters, all seem to come back and it really makes me glad that I’m doing something I wanted to do for a long time.

A visit to the Srikalahasthi Temple near Tirupati nearly made me weep recently. It is truly one of the most majestic temples in India, with huge pillars, intricate carvings and stones which are centuries old. Half of the temple has been shoddily white washed, with really bizarre temporary constructions and wires hanging on arbitrarily. Our immense talent in reducing a centuries old marvel to a shoddy joke really has no competition. This is the same temple which once used to make me wonder about the strength of men, to build something like this when you had no modern tools and then again to destroy something so beautiful when you have every conceivable modern aid.

I am hooked to Everybody likes Raymond, I don’t like half of it but am watching episode after episode, guess when the sitcom bite bites, it bites hard!