The Price of Love

Some time back when Sa and I were in a deeply conversational mode and when the conversation deftly took the turns and twists with the randomness only then can, the talk spiralled to love and while discussing the cost of loving someone she asked "What is the cost of your Mother's love" while I was hesitant to answer Sa put it out in the open for me "To love her back". It seems so simple... the basic equation of love that adjectives fail to quantify the simplicity of it all. It boils down to give and take- rudimentary and raw and like any other equation it has its own exceptions, love's own exceptions but in essence it's like any other exchange, barter and sometimes barbarious. In many instances when we club love with affection and do not realise the difference or the sacrilege, it is a blindfold we choose to move around with. At times, love is just another possesion we wrap ourselves with to give us company in an otherwise long ardous journey. To love is to be loved in return. By demand, coercion, reason or treason.

There are simply no movies to watch...World Cup's upteen casualties and I have taken to watching old hindi movies. "Trikaal" was just about okay, the allure of Leela Naidu notwithstanding while "Bhumika" was so powerful, it showed that you dont need make up artists from America to show that you age, it can be done in just one grimace or contortion of face musles, ask Smita Patil.

Yes, its been long

And this time I wont search for excuses. I didnt write because I had nothing to write home about. No clever conversations, no witty prose or even mundane recitals...so I let myself be and decided I would'nt feel guilty and I didnt. So what was I upto in the month gone by

- Been busy busy with work. My Editor is caught up in some personal stuff so basically doing double my share of work. Cribbing constantly about it but loving it because I can do it.

- Was caught up in personal agonies of my own, but have come out of it scratched but smarter with the one line that gave me immense courage " If I dont fight for my happiness, who will " borrowed shamelessly from Ayn Rand.

- Had some immensely unpleasant encounters, first with Jagjit Singh (whose work and voice I admired greatly) who was like the rudest person I've ever met. Ram Gopal Varma was another pain but I retaliated big time and he was forced to keep quiet for one. (My photographer and myself were equally amazed and appalled at my rudeness, but he took it too far)

- And basically doing everything I was supposed to- reading, meeting friends, eating (If you want to eat something sweet, please try Hyderabad baking Co at the Marriott, amazing grub) and watching movies (how scary was Black Swan??)

But it sure does make me feel happy that I'm back at my space...I'm sure Pt must be grinning!